I lived up to my word. Tales From The Crypt Season 3's review is now up, and it wasn't a year long wait! So, let's get started talking about it, shall we?
Rejoice Crypt fans; as the classic opening sequence is now back attached to the episodes! That was a big deal for me, because the opening is almost as classic in a way as the episodes themselves. They fit together perfectly, with the opening really setting the mood for the episode. I'm sure the decision to cut them off on the first two sets were made by some suit who didn't get that. This time, The 'Keeper has ditched his Doctor's getup for that of a film director, and will introduce you to our 14 episodes in this set on the disc menus.
"Loved To Death" - A screenwriter (Andrew McCarthy) falls in love with an actress (Mariel Hemmingway) in his building, whom he thinks would be perfect for the lead in his new film. Unfortunately, she wants nothing to do with him. So, he uses a love potion to change that.
Can't say I'm a big fan of this one. Maybe this is somewhat harsh, but I didn't buy Hemmingway as the object of someone's desires; nor is it something I wanted to see. McCarthy was pretty good as the episode started; pretty much nailing the goofy, hapless romantic. But, his performance declined heavily toward the end. Though, David Hemmings was consistently good as the creepy Mr. Stronham. I find this episode to be quite similar to last Season's 'Til Death. It has the same kind of story arc, minus the zombie aspect. Since that sort of thing bothers me, that's also a mark against this one. All in all, not a great Season opener.
"Carrion Death" - An escaped convict named Digs (Kyle MacLachlan) and a Highway Patrolman (George Deloy) chasing him become stranded in the desert. Oh yeah, and there's a heavily featured vulture too.
This one largely centers around two performances, and in this case that's a shame. MacLachlan tries too hard to act tough, and Deloy gives a wooden performance that would make the T-1000 blush. I think the bird has more character in this than he does. The other big problem with this episode, is that you can see what's coming a mile away; and that ultimately squashes the twist, which many of these early Season 3 episodes relied on so heavily. Still I have to say, it's a step up from the last episode.
"The Trap" - Lou Paloma (Bruce McGill) and his Wife Irene (Terri Garr) are down on their luck. With the help of his Brother (Bruno Kirby) who happens to be a coroner, they decide to fake his death to cash in on his life insurance policy.
This is going to sound odd; but I don't think this one makes for a great episode of this show, though I do enjoy it. On it's own, it works fine. But as an episode of Crypt, I felt that despite having the irony, it lacks a real edge that ran through the majority of the stories. But, as much as I think it's out of place, I can't deny the final product. It's a genuinely funny and enjoyable piece with some good performances. Out of those, McGill's Lou Paloma is the star. Despite being a pretty nasty guy, you can't help but laugh at this dolt throughout. Lou's Mother (Carroll Baker) is also quite funny, as this character who has clearly lost her mind over the supposed death of her beloved Son. Michael J. Fox directed this and I have to commend him; though he did insert himself into a cameo that has one of the most unabashed character reveals I've seen.
"Abra Cadaver" - Things turn ugly between two Brothers in the medical field, when Carl (Tony Goldwyn) decides to cut Martin's (Beau Bridges) funding for his experiments into brain death. Martin has no choice but to show his little Brother first hand, that his experiments work.
Ah, the first truly good episode of Season 3. I like everything about this one; from the extended opening sequence shown in black and white, to the driving concept of the brain death experiment which is very strong. The backstory with the two Brothers is well done, and plays perfectly into the twists of the story. Goldwyn delivers a good performance; and I suppose we'd have to give credit to his voice as well, which is featured probably as much throughout the episode as he is. Bridges was good in the dramatic scenes he had, but seemed a little off at times when he was just being this guy normally. However, whatever he may have lacked is smoothed over by the awesomeness of this episode. Stephen Hopkins (Nightmare 5, Predator 2) directed this
one, and no doubt delivered.
"Top Billing" - Barry (Jon Lovitz) is an actor who just can't seem to land a part due to not having "the look". Soon he becomes so desperate for a role, he would kill for it.
The greatness of Abra Cadaver doesn't spill over here, as this one challenges Loved To Death for the weakest episode on the first disc. Bruce Boxleitner plays an actor who is competing with Barry; perhaps things would have turned out better had he played Barry himself, because Lovitz just doesn't cut it for me. I never bought him as being the desperate guy they were trying to pass him off as, because he just doesn't seem to be that invested. That hurt the episode a lot. There's also a very over the top performance by John Astin as the eccentric Nelson Halliwell, that grows old quickly. The twist in this episode actually isn't bad, but the journey to get there is quite brutal.
"Dead Wait" - Red Buckley (James "I was Cpl. Hicks for one day" Remar) goes to an island to steal a black pearl. Once there he finds, the rich Mr. Duval (John Rhys-Davies), his lovely Wife Katrine (Vanity), and a Voodoo Priestess (Whoopie Goldberg) who is quite taken by his red hair.
Chainsaw's Tobe Hooper directs this not bad, yet very standard episode. Remar is passable as Red; while Vanity is there to be eye candy pretty much, and her performance is so-so. I wasn't a big fan of Whoopie in this episode, maybe because I felt her character was underused a bit. Perhaps her best bit comes in the last part of the wraparound, where The Cryptkeeper interviews her on a mock talk show set. Hooper piles on the gore as we "head" toward our finale. I'd like to think that bad pun would have made 'ol Cryptie proud.
"The Reluctant Vampire" - Mr. Longtooth (Malcolm McDowell), a Vampire that's tired of killing for his meals, takes a job as a night watchman for a blood bank to fulfill his needs.
This kicks off a series of good episodes for the Season. This may be the weakest of that block, but it has an enjoyable, campy tone about it which makes it hard to dislike. I think McDowell's performance helps set the tone in many ways. Things such as the lengths Longtooth goes to keep himself from having to kill an innocent person or even bite someone, as well as a few character names being tooth-related such as Longtooth and Mr. Crosswhite (George Wendt) which of course sounds like cross bite; help as well.
Not usually a big fan of Wendt, but I did kind of like his sleazy portrayal of Mr. Crosswhite in this. Sally (Sandra Searles Dickinson) is too delicate and at times her voice can become annoying. She's very much like the damsels in distress you would see in some films from the golden age of cinema. I'm sure that was intended, but I didn't care for the character much. I also don't think the love story between Longtooth and Sally worked well. Cast mostly because of his status in the genre I feel, Michael Berryman's vampire hunting character Rupert Van Helsing seems tacked on at times. But, he does look cool dressed in black with his large hat and glasses. The episode does have a strong "just desserts" finish, so it ends on a positive note.
"Easel Kill Ya" - An unstable, struggling artist named Jack (Tim Roth) discovers some unique motivation for creating paintings that the wealthy Mr. Mayflower (William Atherton) will pay big bucks for.
The star of this episode is Tim Roth, plain and simple; and he delivers a terrific performance. Without him, I doubt it would have worked nearly as well, and could have turned out borderline generic. Atherton and Nancy Fish also turn in good performances; while Sharon (Roya Megnot) is hit and miss. There's never a dull moment; as the pacing of this episode is the best of the Season. Between several well shot, creepy images, the score, and a few quick trips inside the warped mind of Jack; this episode has somewhat of a feature film quality to it. I've saw this one get a fairly mixed reaction around the net, which is unfortunate; because to me it's definitely one of Season 3's strongest episodes.
"Undertaking Palor" - Four Horror film fans discover a conspiracy at the local funeral home, and set out to prove it with their trusty video camera.
I may be partial to this episode in a way, because I was a kid loving Horror in the late 80's and early 90's like the ones in this story, and maybe that adds some extra flare for me. Case in point, is the opening scene where the four boys are walking home from a Horror film and babbling all kinds of geeky facts. I did things very similar to that, and the scene captures a certain era for me. But beyond that, I think the four friends (Jason Marsden, Jonathan (Short Round) Quan, Aron Eisenberg, and Scott Fults) did a pretty good job. They have some funny moments and dialogue.
Our undertaker Mr. Esbrook (John Glover) has his moments too, as Glover fills the character with the same kind of zaniness that we've seen from him in other roles over the years. This one I'd say is a little darker in tone than The Reluctant Vampire was, as it features corpses and a nice gory ending; but it still very much falls into the comedic Tales episode category. Nothing wrong with that though when it works; and to me this one does. One thing I always wondered though is why Eisenberg's character isn't named in the entire episode? C'mon now.
"Mournin' Mess" - Based on a tip from an accused killer, a reporter (Steven Webber) begins investigating an organization that gives the homeless a proper burial.
For me, it's a toss up between this and Easel Kill Ya for the best episode of the Season. Quick-paced and quite stylish, this one is much like Easel in that it has a certain cinematic quality to it; but walks a near perfect line between dark humor and having an eerie vibe. Webber does a surprisingly good job as the slightly chauvinistic, disorganized, and down on his luck Dale Sweeney. The rest of the cast rounds out nicely including Rita Wilson, Ally Walker, and Vincent Schiavelli. If you pay close attention to this episode, the twist isn't that surprising, however there is more than enough here to make up for it.
"Split Second" - Mr. Dixon (Brion James), the owner of a logging camp, marries a premiscuous woman named Liz (Michelle Johnson) and soon becomes insanely jealous, thinking every man working for him is sleeping with her.
The plot of this one is very straight forward, but Brion James is hilarious in this and really helps make something more out of it. Season 3 has been notable for it's memorable characters; first Lou Paloma, then Jack Craig, and now Steve Dixon. James nails this increasingly psychotic role and delivers some great lines and over the top facial expressions, that I couldn't help but laugh at. Michelle Johnson pulls off the slutty character, and even the secondary players like Snaz (Dan Martin) and Artie (Alan Palo) deliver. It's not all on the level however, as I think Liz's inner monologues get a little tiresome toward the end, and Ted (Billy Wirth) is the weak link in the cast. None the less, this one is quite entertaining. It's the seemingly little throw away episode that you don't expect to be good, but is.
"Deadline" - An alcholic (Richard Jordan) tries to get his old job back as a reporter, but his boss wants a murder story as a condition of his employment.
I found this episode to be really bland. It does have sort of a throwback style about it that I liked, but that alone just isn't enough. The story itself is dry and doesn't contain any real excitement. Jordan delivers an uncharismatic performance, and while Vicki (Marg Helgenberger) has more of a presence, she isn't given much to work with. The twist is so-so I guess, but this episode strikes me as one that simply waited around for the twist to occur. Walter Hill, one of Crypt's Executive Producers, directed this. His Season 1 and 2 episodes, The Man Who Was Death and Cutting Cards were much better.
"Spoiled" - Janet (Faye Grant) is a bored housewife that wants more attention from her husband, who is always busy with his research; so she begins having an affair with Abel, the cable repair man (Anthony LaPaglia).
This one is a perfect example of a far below average episode. There's nothing worse than something that is supposed to be funny, but isn't. That's what this is all the way through; from the not so subtle sexual enduendos in the form of cable repair rhetoric to the twist ending. Add to that annoying performances from Faye Grant and Annabelle Gurwitch, and wooden ones from LaPaglia and Alan Rachins; and you have perhaps the biggest fluff of the Season. I think the only thing I liked about it was the Tales From The Crypt in-joke on the tv.
"Yellow" - In the midst of WWI, a General's Son (Eric Douglas) asks his Father (Kirk Douglas) for a discharge from the Army, because he is afraid to die.
A more stark and realistic episode that chooses to allow the horrors of war speak for itself, rather than present the Horror in the way it's normally presented in Crypt. It's also very much about betrayal on different levels. An interesting note about this episode, is that it's the first of a trio that were not produced for Tales from the Crypt. It originally found life as part of a Pilot, called Two-Fisted Tales. This was also produced by Richard Donner, Robert Zemeckis, and Joel Silver; and based around another William Gaines comic of the same title. The Pilot didn't catch fire, so the stories found their way to the following two Seasons of Crypt. I think in a way, you can see in the episodes a slight difference in style. They're certainly more based around Drama.
Lance Henriksen is back; he plays Sergeant Ripper. The episode opens with a pretty funny sequence with him. Dan Aykroyd is also in this as Captain Milligan. I won't lie, being a big fan of both the Alien and Ghostbusters franchises; I had a slight film nerd moment seeing them in a couple sequences together. We have real life Father and Son, Kirk and Eric Douglas, playing Father and Son here. They have a pretty good rapport; with Kirk portraying the shamed, tough guy General Kalthrob and Eric capturing the essence of the cowardly and insincere Lt. Martin Kalthrob. All in all, I felt Yellow was okay, the best of the transplanted episodes; well acted and well directed by Robert Zemeckis.
And, that's it. Toss out your MC Hammer CD and kick off your LA Gears, because the trip back to 1991 is over. This was originally supposed to be The Cryptkeeper's final Season. I don't know the particulars of why they changed their minds, but this little guy couldn't be kept down and would be around for another five years.
Directed by: Tom Mankiewicz, Steven E. de Souza, Michael J. Fox, Stephen Hopkins, Todd Holland, Tobe Hooper, Elliot Silverstein, John Harrison, Michael Thau, Manny Coto, Russell Mulcahy, Walter Hill, Andy Wolk, Robert Zemeckis
Released by: Warner Bros.
Special Features
- Crypt Jam Music Video
- A Tall Tales Panel: A Dissected Look At Tales From The Crypt Season 3
- A Tales From The Crypt Reunion: A Panel Discussion
0 comments:
Post a Comment