I've been a fan of Conan the Barbarian for as long as I can remember. The original Robert E. Howard books and short stories, the comics, the movies, etc. I even remember, when I was about five years old, having my Grandpa make me a wooden sword so I could re-enact scenes from the first two films out in the backyard. When I was eight, after my guitar lessons were over, on the way home my Mom would take me to the local convenience store and buy me a candy bar and a Savage Sword of Conan comic. I could go on and on listing my fond Conan-related memories. It seems whenever I turn around, the musclebound behemoth is standing there brooding. Conan has always been a small, yet very impactful, part of my life.
Starring the then near-unknown Arnold Schwarzenegger, John Milius' 1982 Conan the Barbarian changed the landscape of sword and sorcery films forever. Milius' directing is flawless and I still think the film has one of Arnold's finest acting performances. The mixture of epic storytelling and strong, graphic violence continues to impact films to this day. Ridley Scott's Gladiator, Frank Miller's 300, and even Peter Jackson's rendition of the Lord of the Rings trilogy owe stylistic debts to John Milius. To this day, it is one of my all time favorite films.
Sadly, the same can't be said for 1985's Conan the Destroyer. While it isn't a bad film, per say, it fails to capture the power, grace, and intelligence of Milius' Conan. Instead, we got a watered down, family-friendly, often light-hearted fantasy film with very little in the way of furthering the story of Conan. Quite literally, Conan is in the same place when the film ends as when it began.
Conan the Conqueror, a third film in the Conan series, was planned for 1987 but Schwarzenegger was committed to another little film you may have heard of entitled Predator. The third Conan film descended into development hell. The script would later be turned into the dreadful Kull the Conqueror starring Kevin Sorbo, of Hercules: The Legendary Journeys fame.
Throughout the late 90's and early 2000's, rumors circulated that Arnold would once again pick up the sword as an aging Conan for King Conan: Crown of Iron. The film lingered in development hell as Warner Bros. spent seven years trying to get the project off the ground, with development attempts made by Larry and Andy Wachowski, John Milius, and Robert Rodriguez, who was closest to completing development but left the project in order to direct Planet Terror (his contribution to Grindhouse). A script was even leaked to the internet a few years back but, sadly, and the film will most likely never see the light of day.
An animated film entitled Red Nails, starring Ron Perlman (who, ironically, appears in the relaunch) as the voice of Conan and based on the Robert E. Howard story of the same name, has also lingered in a state of flux for several years with little to no updates on it's status.
I mourn the loss of King Conan: Crown of Iron, but I would be lying if I said that I wasn't more than a little excited when the reboot was announced. Now, I have to admit, I would have been angry if they did a straight remake of the Milius film, which is why I was thankful when I heard that this would be a new adaption and, perhaps, a new take on Conan.
I've grown tired of remakes that fail to move the subject matter in a new direction. Now, I know a lot of our readers consider us here at The Horror Enthusiast biased against remakes/reboots/etc, but that simply isn't true. What we do is tell the truth. If we don't like something, we're gonna tell you, regardless of the majority's opinion. I've seen too many remakes try to tread on the same ground as the originals without trying anything new and then failing miserably (A Nightmare On Elm Street 2010, Friday The 13th 2009). Needless to say, I was alarmed when I heard that Marcus Nispel (who directed both the Friday the 13th and Texas Chainsaw Massacre remakes)would be directing the new Conan the Barbarian film.
With that being said, there is no, nor should there be, a comparison between the original and the reboot. Yes, the original film will always be one of my favorites. Whenever I reach for a Conan film to watch, nine times out of ten, it will most likely be the original, but comparing the new one to the old one isn't fair; They are two very different films. Keep that in mind whilst reading the remainder of this review.
In the 2011 film, Conan (Jason Momoa) sets out on a life-long quest to find Khalar Zym (Stephen Lang), and avenge the murder of his father and the slaughter of his village. During his pursuit of Zym, Conan meets Tamara (Rachel Nichols) whose pure blood is needed by Zym to solidify his power.
Right off the bat, the film pulls no punches and this mentality is maintained throughout the entire film. Conan was born of war... literally. In one of the best scenes in the film (the opening scene, no less), Conan's mother gives birth to him in the MIDDLE OF BATTLE after BEING STABBED, the blade just missing baby Conan by an inch or less. Needless to say, I was impressed; they managed to capture the spirit of Conan within the first minutes.
The first act depicts Conan as a young boy growing up in Cimmeria and training with his father for battle. Ron Perlman shines in his brief yet impactful role as Conan's father Corin. I especially enjoyed how he was simultaneously strict and loving to his son; he comes off as a very strong and wise man. The "Riddle of Steel" speech from the original film is echoed in these scenes, albeit in a subtly different way. Being a knife and sword enthusiast, I thoroughly enjoyed the sword forging scenes, with Corin explaining how both "fire and ice" make a blade strong.
Jason Momoa is a force as Conan. Whereas Arnold Schwarzenegger's Conan was a much more introverted and brooding character (which was perfect for that particular film), Momoa's Conan wears his emotions on his sleeve and is far more impulsive and bloodthirsty; a definite antihero. During Momoa's many fight scenes, there seems to be an ever present smirk on his face; he genuinely enjoys the mayhem of battle. I have to say that this is the most faithful interpretation of Robert E. Howard's Conan ever captured on film.
This isn't Stephen Lang's first go-round as an antagonist. In James Cameron's Avatar, he played Col. Quaritch to perfection and is no different here as Khalar Zym. As much as Momoa's Conan enjoys the heat of battle, Lang's Zym enjoys being a heartless butcher that much more... and then some. Rose McGowan is in top form as Zym's daughter Marique. Her unbridled thirst for innocent blood pushes the boundary without ever becoming too over-the-top.
I was actually quite impressed by Marcus Nispel's directing here. Gone is the cookie cutter format that he seemingly used on both The Texas Chainsaw Massacre and Friday the 13th; Conan the Barbarian has a much more sharp, high contrast look. The fight scenes and swordplay are very well choreographed and very little of the dreaded shaky-cam that plagues most modern action/adventure films is used.
I mentioned earlier that the film pulls no punches. The fight scenes are much like Conan's personality: Brutal, unrelenting, and in-your-face. Blood, limbs, and various other forms of gore continuously fly at the screen from all angles and the fast pace of the film almost never dies down. However, as cool as that sounds, a bit of character development is sacrificed in favor of packing in as many battle scenes as possible inside of the film's 113-minute running time. A little more on the history of Conan's people who have been nice, as well as a bit more info on Zym's background.
In the end, this relaunch of the Conan franchise isn't disappointing. In fact, it's quite good. After putting the film snob side of my personality aside for the evening, I found it to be very entertaining and satisfying to my inner fan-boy.
Directed by: Marcus Nispel
Starring: Jason Momoa, Rachel Nichols, Stephen Lang, Rose McGowan
Released by: Lionsgate
