This is my first bad movie review for The Horror Enthusiast! Aren’t you all pumped beyond anything? I thought so! I should warn you that I love and cherish bad movies. They’re almost always fun and easy to watch. With that being said, be warned fellow readers!
I figured I’d start with one of my favorite bad Asian horror flicks, Uzumaki; It’s about a small Asian town plagued by spirals. It’s based on a notorious manga which is really crazy, as well. Let’s jump right into this monster!
The movie has everything you’d want in a truly odd Asian horror movie. Snail people? Check. Spiral obsessed fathers who turn themselves into spirals? Check. A woman who’s hair comes to life and drains people of energy? Check. The list of oddities here keeps going and going.
The budget was the only real setback for this movie; it was around a million dollars American. That makes for some not so sweet CGI effects, but the practical gore and makeup were spot on, for sure. The acting is as good as you can expect for a micro budget movie, minus Eriko Hatsune. She was really convincing as the school girl who has to watch her town go ape shit.
If you've read the manga, the movie will make a lot more sense. If not, prepare to ask a bunch of questions that never really get answered; Things happen and are never explained and it can be kind of frustrating, for sure, but it’s still quite a trip to watch.
Uzumaki is probably the strangest Asian movie since Tetsuo: Iron Man and I wouldn’t recommend any one watching it under any kind of mind altering substance. But, if you’re feeling like you want your head to pop off and float to a hell full of spirals, then sally forth, good man! I guess what I’m trying to say is that this movie is odd in a dark way; The kind of odd that sticks to your guts and stays with you like demon heartburn.
If you’ve seen my YouTube channel (slothbp) you know I grade things on a “poop scale.” One is for runny poop of a movie that burns the anus and ten is for a glorious, corn filled, hearty dump. I give Uzumaki a SEVEN on my (patent-pending) poop scale. I took three points off only because of the bad CGI effects.
Uzumzaki is weird and dark and I’d recommend it to anyone out there who loves cheesy movies.
Well, true believers, I hope you all enjoyed my first ever review for the Horror Enthusiast. I’ll be back faster than you can say "excelsior!" Smell ya later, blood farts!